Divorce is stressful enough without becoming entangled in a contentious courtroom battle. It’s understandable that you and your ex don’t see eye-to-eye on certain issues. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if one or more of those issues were causal factors that prompted your decision to go your separate ways. If you have children, their well-being is a priority, and if you and your ex disagree on how to interpret that, things can get pretty ugly in court.
There are several things you can do to minimize contention. It’s best if you and your ex can agree to certain stipulations, but even if he or she won’t, you can still take proactive stepsto protect yourself from stress.
Divorce-free zones help minimize stress
There are many issues you and your ex must resolve in order to achieve a fair settlement. However, that doesn’t mean you have to think about or talk about your divorce 24/7. If the two of you tend to go at each other whenever you meet in person or talk on the phone, forging an agreement to create a divorce-free zone can be helpful.
Perhaps you will limit your divorce-free zone to social media and emails. If you and your spouse agree never to mention divorce in these two venues, you know you have recourse toward uncontentious correspondence. You might even designate an in-person location as a divorce-free zone, such as your homes. If you need to discuss your divorce, you meet at a neutral location.
Make a list of goals
It’s best to negotiate a divorce settlement like a business meeting. Know ahead of time what your exact goals are, then do you best to stay on topic both inside the courtroom and out. This helps avoid divergence, which can often spark arguments if a particularly emotional or sensitive topic arises.
You don’t have to be best friends, but you must be fair
It’s nice if you and your ex get along well and can peacefully discuss important issues pertaining to your children, property division or other divorce issues. However, it’s not uncommon for spouses who divorce to have hard feelings toward each other, at least for some time.
Remember that it’s not necessarily a problem if you don’t get along well, provided you are both willing to agree to act respectfully toward each other during proceedings and to try to cooperate to achieve a fair settlement. If an issue arises you don’t feel equipped to handle on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support.