LOVE DuCOTE

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Keep co-parent stress at bay after divorce

No one starts out in marriage already expecting that the relationship is not going to last. In fact, most people believe that their wedding day is the first day of a lifetime relationship. Any number of issues may arise during marriage, however, that prompt a spouse to file for divorce. It is always best for everyone involved, especially if a particular couple has children, to cooperate during proceedings and also in the years to come after a final decree has been entered.

That is not always possible, though, particularly if a co-parent always tries to argue or spark contention with his or her ex. How can a parent keep the peace if his or her co-parent refuses to adhere to the terms of a court order or tries to make him or her look like the bad guy in front of the kids all the time? Such issues may not only cause stress and disruption in a family but can lead to serious legal problems as well. It is a good idea for parents to put things in writing when developing a co-parenting plan.

Parents can sign agreements stating that they will not speak negatively about each other in front of their children. If every in-person meeting unravels into an argument, parents can agree to only correspond through email or text messaging. It is also helpful if parents acknowledge that they each may make discipline decisions and households rules in their respective homes as they see fit. Agreeing to this ahead of time may help avoid stress down the line, especially if the parents in question have different parenting styles.

Certain Texas child custody issues are not up for debate, such as those that are incorporated in an existing court order. If the judge has ordered visitation to occur on certain days at specific times, then both parents must adhere to those terms. Divorce is not easy, but it does not necessarily have to be an endless sea of co-parenting stress. Children may be better able to cope with divorce if they see their parents’ willingness to try to get along for their sake.

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